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curl-6 on 14 September 2019
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Alex_The_Hedgehog said:
curl-6 said:

G'day Alex, seen you around a lot but never actually said hi.

I also have OCD. At one point, in my late teens, I was unable to leave my house because of it. My OCD is focused on fear of illness and contamination like yours. Gaming and VGChartz are sources of distraction for me too, and your experience of being diagnosed after having a total breakdown is almost exactly how it happened for me too. (I was 18)

Here's what helps for me:

- Building up a resistance to the catalysts of my anxiety through gradually controlled exposure. For example, I used to be so afraid of contagion that I would walk two meters around a discarded cigarette butt and could not get close enough to a public rubbish bin to use it. I drew u a plan for myself where once a day I'd stomp on a discarded cigarette butt or force myself to throw rubbish in a bin. Just once a day, so as not to push myself too hard. Over time, these gradually became less frightening. Now neither bothers me, and I can do things that were unthinkable to me ten years ago like use a public toilet or ride on a bus/train. 

Now, this is not a quick fix. It takes months. It takes years. I have been working on it since I was 18, I'm now 30, and while I have come further than I ever imagined I would as a teenager, it is still a work in progress, and I suspect it will be for as long as I live. But it has made a big difference.

- Delaying seeking relief. Often the anxiety can be relatively short-lived and I've found that if I try to distract myself and wait it out, I can often outlast it, and temporarily break the cycle.

- Medication. I've been on several different ones, but the most helpful was Efexor, though this will of course vary on a per-person basis.

The most important thing to remember is that just cos you feel awful now or in the moment, doesn't mean it will stay that way. Like I say, I've battled this thing for 13 years and when I compare myself now to where I was back then, the difference it night and day; as a teen I never thought I could reach the point I'm at now. You can't see the sun at midnight, but that doesn't mean it's not coming. 

All the best to you mate.

Good day, Curl. I know you from the community, but I don't remember if we ever talked.

Man, I can't thank you enough for your post. It feels like you know exactly how my brain works.

My parents keeps telling me to distract myself from the negative thoughts by doing something I like. My fear usually is not from something that's happening, but from something that may happen.

However, I have some kind of... Barrier, that don't let me do what I like. For example, I love to play video-games, like probably everyone around here. So, if I have something bothering me, I will think something like: "No, I will not play today. I'll wait until this anxiety disappear, so I can fully enjoy the game."

My mom always tell me that it should be the opposite: I must force myself to do it, even if I feel like I don't want to. She says that I must fight against this line of thought. I'm working on figuring this puzzle out.

And of course, I have my medication too.

You know... When I had the breakdown, I visited a doctor in my city. He prescribed me a medicine (Can't remember the name, sorry) and I started to take it, but it was not working.

After some weeks, I visited him again, and he told me to wait for a bit of time, but if the medicine didn't work, he would commit me to a mental hospital. I sure as heck didn't wanted that.

Thanks to my family, I went to another doctor, and he changed the medication to the one I take today. It's been two years since that, and I never had another breakdown.

Having reliable people around you also helps a lot.

No worries man, I felt a similar feeling reading your post, I could relate so strongly to so much of it. I think it's so much easier to understand when you share the same condition.

I'm really sorry to hear you've been put under pressure from your first doctor, that's one of the worst things someone can do to a person with OCD, but I'm glad to hear you haven't had a breakdown in two years. The thing with medication is it can take a while to find the one that works best for you. I've been on 5 different meds; the first didn't help much at all, and only with the 5th one did I find the one that worked best for me. Same goes for doctors really, I've had some great ones and some bad ones, and its worth trying several in order to find one that suits you well.

Another thing that I like to do is run or otherwise exercise, like if I am just stressing out of my mind I just go outside and run, just run til I'm exhausted; I know it's a cliche but I find it really does kinda just drown out the anxiety and buy me time for it to subside.