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estebxx said:
When i was about 6 or 7 years old i accidentally KILLED a chicken with a newspaper... im not even kidding.

A newspaper is not dense enough to have the mass needed to actually beat a chicken to death and I won't even get into the fact that at 7 years of age one's strength is even more limited for such a task.

So how on earth did you succeed in killing a chicken with a newspaper?