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DonFerrari said:
Medisti said:

I have one gay friend who would quality as "flaming." You can tell the second he opens his mouth that he's the stereotypical gay. But I do know some others and none of them act in any way that would suggest it, if you didn't know they were dating someone of the same sex. I am glad I've gotten away from the stereotype of how gay people "act" for most characters, but the shoehorning of their sexuality into situations that don't need it is harmful to the story and worse, feels like pandering.

Even worse, it is against the idea that gay people are regular people. If you have to shoehorn and shove in the face then you are losing your point even before starting.

Being gay is their main, defining personality trait, and all of their interests and thoughts revolve around their sexuality, right?

Oh wait, no. They're normal people who happen to have a difference of preference on one particular thing. Silly me.