I've been to the psychological place you're at before and will probably be there again some day. I don't have solutions, but just wanted to put that out there because I have found it helpful sometimes just to know that someone else out there can on some level relate and empathizes. I hope you come back, but above all are able to recover!
Remember that if there is one day when you don't feel as described in the OP, that is progress! Even if you seem to lose ground again the next day, the fact that you were able to have the one better day means that there is hope. Sometimes we have to count progress in baby steps.Last edited by Jaicee - on 12 August 2018