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Calling someone autistic is not even a good insult, many autists are high functioning individuals. So, calling someone autistic just shows what a moron the name-caller is.

On the other hand, the reactions toward the usage of the words fag and retard are a bit over the top, in my opinion. I've used those in my circle of friends for over 10 years, and nobody is actually insulted. I agree that they shouldn't be used as offensive insults towards strangers, but I see no harm in them being used jokingly.
There is that Bill Burr bit about the usage of "fag" amongst friends, but I have no clue how to embed YT clips.