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Tulipanzo said:

Didn't she almost crash the Falcon when she got it?

Almost. That's the key word here. She almost did only to win against what should have been more agile and capable spacecraft seeing as how they're smaller.

Tulipanzo said:

Plus, I'd say that being in denial about your parents origins because you passively accepted the main antagonists' mentality that your origin matter more than who you are is a pretty big character flaw.

I don't see how such a denial is gonna impede her ability to get things done or win in fights.

Tulipanzo said:

Also Luke Skywalker actively disliked her coming at all, Han slowly grows to accept her, only Leia actively trusts her.

Did either of the three dislike her though?

Tulipanzo said:

She is no more competent than Luke was

Okay, no. That's nonsense.

Here's the end result of the first time Luke faced Darth Vader:

Luke was left hanging from an antenna, was missing a hand, and was in dire need of rescue.

Here's the end result of the first time Rey faced Kylo Ren:

She won.

So no, the two aren't comparable.

Tulipanzo said:

and as the de facto protagonist of the new trilogy it fits that she would be generally competent.

Rey was overly competent.

Tulipanzo said:

As far as criticism goes, not only is "being a Mary Sue" a very shallow and perfunctory criticism, it aligns with some world class charlatans and mouth breathers in the manosphere. I'd avoid it if I were you, because of the stupidity by association

I'm going to keep using it because it's short and to the point. If you don't like the adjective then how about this:

Rey is a Mary Sue overly competent to the point that credibility in her character and tension in the film are both destroyed.