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monocle_layton on 10 September 2017
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Aeolus451 said:
monocle_layton said:

It's not that i dislike when people have jokes i don't find funny. I don't find Kevin Hart to be hilarious, but I don't mind if I hear his jokes

 

I also don't have a problem with dark humour, but when he forces it in every conversation (even when I try to have a simple conversation), him believing that randomly blurting out 'ni**er' to me on school campus is funny was enough to piss me off.

 

He texted me about twenty minutes ago, and I think people have a point. The dude probably does struggle with finding a friend, and I might just continue to put up with him. We're still talking, and he seems to finally be opening up a bit.

 

I'm not sure if what I did was perfect, but it's allowed me to reach the dude. I'd rather have him be confronted and help him improve than allow him to simply be rejected and see him not change. 

 

Regardless of what I said to him, I don't believe abandoning him is the smart step. I'm gonna move past what we both did and help him get back on track. 

Perhaps he doesn't need help, perhaps he's looking for another a friend who's not judgemental. Honestly, you're looking down at him with this "he doesn't have friends" or "He's the lonely type or loser". Alot of people in this thread are giving you asshole advice over some jokes a guy told. If you accepted that his sense of humour/funny wasn't funny, you wouldn't try to change him or fix him. You would just tell him you don't like his edgy humor and that's that. If you're gonna look down at him or fix, save him the trouble, don't be "friends" with him. If you want to be geniune friends with him, accept him as is.

With him randomly texting me a few hours ago, I think it's past me trying to fix nothing. As I said, he isn't some loser with nothing good. I don't think I'll lose anything by helping him.

IkePoR said:
Aeolus451 said:

You're right about rape and holocause being dark but the rest sounds edgy or anti-pc.

It's his way of going about this "humor."  He's not trying to be funny, he doesn't tell a dark joke.  As AngryLittleAlchemist said, he's trying to use raunch and "edgyness" as a replacement for a personality.  

Back to Layton though, as some have said, you're not this guy's mentor.  You're not there to "save" anyone(lest you are a missionary and chose to withold this fact).  Though it seems with you texting now, the rule has applied that usually applies - you made your mind up before starting this thread and just wanted assurance that you made the right choice.

I was actually waiting to see what people thought of the situation. People have criticized my harsh approach, some people thought I should've stopped talking to him, and a few others offered other advice.

 

I think blocking him would be a complete dickish thing to do, so by now I'll ride this out and maybe update in a month or two if it gets interesting. It'd be different if I initiated the message, but he's the one who started it.

 

Would the right thing be for me to have block and ignore him? 

Mystro-Sama said:
monocle_layton said:

Real life. He then texted me recently online.

I gave him my number a few days after meeting him, but we never texted, so it did surprise me when he randomly sent a message

So he just randomly came up to you and knew who you were?

We share a class, and he must have heard my name and approached me. I'm not sure why he picked me in particular. 

Farsala said:
N word and rape jokes are definitely not cool for most people. So I think it is right to set him straight. When someone called me a really offensive derogatory word I do have flashes of anger and try to set the person straight. Of course any lesser word I laugh and just say whatever. But you got to set boundaries.

As of now I'm simply thinking of what boundaries i should set to never have this happen again. I took most people's advice into consideration. 

 

I think my biggest mistake was having him believe it was acceptable since day 1. Perhaps he would've stopped if I said something prior to the extreme