| numberwang said: Reading the first page, it feels like anti-Hemingway, lots of nested sentences, dense & grand wording, but little happenings. Don't forget to tell story, lore, characters etc. -- explain or show why there is this grand emotion rather than just declaring it to be there. |
Thanks for the feed back, I'm glad you said something. Yeah, I would say there is a lot of grand wording and very dense. As for the story, well it's the first page, story will come and character will follow. The story will play out, but that's after the first page. It's just I need to let everyone know that he is all powerful. I need to have him understood that nothing phases him. For now, I used the first couple of pages to instill his demigod status. That will come to play later in the story. It has everything to do with what he's searching for.
