Nintendo Switch - Why whould I?

[superchunk]

Zelda is worth $400.

Meh low probability defects that will be fixed shortly but are easy to mitigate now if you are impacted. (Pro Controller and screen protector)

Who the hell cares about bluray player on a portable home games console? like wtf is that even in your list? You have other devices already.

Based on your initial call-out of only interested in Zelda, friends and local or online multiplayer seem unimportant for you at this time anyways. But, I'm betting that will change in 2017 with MK8/Splatoon alone (maybe not for you) and who knows what support we'll see at E3 given how successful the launch has been so far.

Switch definitely won't have same fate as WiiU. (not sure if your statement was only meant to your possible experience or the console overall) This is a great piece of gaming hardware and I'm positive E3 will prove that it will get a lot of software beyond the Nintendo IPs such as Monster Hunter and at least he common yearly titles everyone gets.