dtewi on 21 May 2008
Okay, my main complaints are:
1) There are far too many swears. You could also use faux-curses, like grass ramming flint eater.
2) It is far too much of an imitation. If you slap an AVGN logo on it and speak like James, it could pass off for the real thing, and you do not want that to happen. Use originality, as stated in reason 1. I don't know how to create originality, you're the writer.
Kimi wa ne tashika ni ano toki watashi no soba ni ita
Itsudatte itsudatte itsudatte
Sugu yoko de waratteita
Nakushitemo torimodosu kimi wo
I will never leave you
