Had depression all my life (55 years). Been to all kinds of therapy and used a lot of different medicines. SSRI helped but gave me weird adverse effects (breathing was affected, numbness etc). The best "drug" for me so far is Lithium, which supposedly is very good for bi-polarity. When taking Lithium you have to monitor the blood levels to prevent renal injury. I have had no adverse effects from Lithium. Lithium is a chemical element and the way it works for depression is not fully known.
In my experience depression is a state of mind where if something wrong happens it is because of my inadequacy - if something good happens it is because of circumstances out of my control (even if it is really me who made something good).
I hid my depression for everyone, not even my wife knew until I told her - I am not sure she realize how severe my problems are yet.What I want to say is that "jock mentality where you can't deal with emotional issues or you're deemed a giant pussy" is a sure way of hiding very severe mental disorders.
Since 6 - 7 years I try to be completely open with my condition and try to support all the other friends and colleagues that have mental disorders. (Still I hesitate to write this as I know that it can be used against me) I would not have been open with it when I was younger!
My advice: do not hesitate to seek help from professionals, do not hesitate to try drugs (I did for too long). Find a friend or a family member that you can talk to. Seek help from therapists. Talking about it has helped me a lot.
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