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This is just simple.
Keep public/civil what´s public/civil and personal what´s personal

Laws are public and secular, they must be followed
Religious belifs are personal and must be kept personal.

So... legal civil marriage for same-sex couples? ok, that´s a public/secular matter and we should just accept it as a possibility allowed by law.
Religious same-sex marriage? It´s a personal matter and we shouldn´t mess with what´s personal, so if a religion does not practice same-sex marriage, let them just live by that, they´re not practicing civil marriage after all.

Keep religious what´s religious and keep secular what´s secular.