Metal Gear Solid V. This is my personal game of the year, and I imagine it will be for many other people. Even Konami being the most hated gaming company on Earth right now can't stop those feelings. I am in that hate parade, but it's getting harder and harder to stifle the excitement I feel when talk about MGS comes up. I'd rather play MGS than hate online. In fact a couple of weeks ago I casually played a few of the MGS games to keep my brain busy (I platinumed MGS3 during finals week. My time management is awful lol). It only made me want more (I began dreaming about what Kojima would pull off on PS4 & Xbox 1); so over the following weeks I tried avoiding any mention of Kojima. Then the PT fiasco came and ruined my hopes of a Kojima-free life. No matter what I did, Kojima followed me! Gah! Tons of other games yet Kojima hounded me like a demon. Was I going insane?
Evidently still needing help, I devised a plan to be rid of Kojima. It involved much less favorable means. Ya know Meg, of Family Guy? To be blunt, I thought that viewing porn of Meg a ton of times would shock those pestering thoughts out of my head. As you likely have predicted; while I was watching, Kojima's head magically levitated up from somewhere on the screen, and touched down right on Meg's shoulders! I screamed loudly, drawing the instant attention of my Mom, who was mid-kitchen preparing some breakfast for me. She sprinted into my room, probably thinking that there was a spider. Instead she walked in on me on the floor watching a weird ass cartoon-Kojima porno fusion shit. A disturbing reality flew at Mother, and some egg at son. She wore the same look she did that zoo day when the chimpanzees had an orgy in front of our family. Kojima's evil laugh rang out as my mother slowly backed away.
Look, this is my obviously true story that I totally didn't just make up. Think I'm lying? Kojima still haunts me; he is currently staring over my shoulder as I type, searching for spelling mistakes, and possibly plot ideas. He made me write this unnecessary and terribly long story. He said if I didn't, he would make sure my May got ominous.
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