The Romantic Advice Thread

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trashleg said:

Mr Khan said:

Stress is the wrong word. It leaves me with a vague feeling that something's missing, it only stresses me when i'm within fifty feet of her (not being serious here, got over that one a while ago).

Time i thought was only a problem if a friendship developed before romance itself could, then it's really hard to get out of the friendzone? The fix there is that i've really tried to push my angle with her. Not too blatantly, but i'd been pushing for some one on one time for over a month before i got that coffee, then had a flub with putting her number in my phone which led to an expression of keen interest in getting the number. A few texts, then i fell off in a major way over Christmas, no contact for weeks, deliberately on my end.

So i'm just kind of rebuilding rapport here.

If she's interested in you beyond friendship, there won't be a "friendzone". It isn't about scoring enough points. In the same way that you guys are thinking about women as either "yes", "maybe" or "no", we're just as capable of doing the same to you. The friendzone is not some unfortunate limbo-like place you find yourself lost in because you didn't have the balls. It's a friendship because you didn't both want it to be more than that. And it's not a bad thing, really.

We're not thinking "maybe", just "yes" and "no".

The "friendzone" (or ladder, as I prefer to use the word), isn't an unfortunate place IF you already have someone better, but if you don't: move on. If you do, she's likely jealous or becomes one and soon after you're going to have to forget the female friend anyway. And, the higher a guy is on the "friends" ladder, the worse it is for him.

If Mr Khan is "average" compared to other guys the girl knows, the chances aren't good.