Oh, for the love of Jebas, next time I'll put the 'It's a long shot...' part of my OP in big, neon, flashing letters that simultaneously shine a bat signal in the sky. xP
Zanten, Doer Of The Things
Unless He Forgets In Which Case Zanten, Forgetter Of The Things
Or He Procrascinates, In Which Case Zanten, Doer Of The Things Later
Or It Involves Moving Furniture, in Which Case Zanten, F*** You.