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In the face of this recession, I'm making more money than ever! Still, video games have proven themselves immune to the financial woes of the rest of the world. I predict record profits for the games industry in 2008.

In the trunk of my police car, right now is an XBOX 360. I had to evict a guy from a residence yesterday who has nothing but a 13 SD TV, some clothes, and the 360. A FRIGGIN' 360! There was a dispute between him and his girlfriend about who the console belonged to. Gamers will sacrifice food, shelter, and common sense, for their games. Believe it.