"I used to be a huge Sony fan", said Mr. Ladore in a recent Fox News interview. "I waited in line at launch for 36 hours in freezing rain, sleet and snow during a vicious Swine Flu outbreak just to put my hands on a PS4 console, along with Killzone and Angry Birds games. I was ready to leap into the next generation with all its high definition peas"
"Killzone was a magnificent game. I played it so much, went through the campaign three times, and played over 250 hours of multiplayer. I told all my friends to buy it, so we can play together. I told them it looked fantastic, that it is the greatest next-gen experience ever."
"And then, several months later, I stumbled upon an article that said Killzone doesn't have 1080 peas! I was shocked." Said Mr. Ladore, tears shyly trickling down his cheek. "Sony promised me 1080 peas, and I thought that they delivered until I've read otherwise. I had no idea that they decided to withhold some peas."
"My friends started ridiculing me, called me a pea-brained Pee-Wee, and even refused to like my shared Killzone screenshots on Facebook."
"I blame Sony for deceiving me, and making me think the resolution was higher. I would have never noticed that had a journalist not written that on their web page."
"This experience has emotionally scarred me for life. I can no longer fully pee, but always stop short and then have the rest sprinkle my underwear, resulting in my mom yelling at me that she needs to use extra detergent and softener, hurting our already tiny hygiene budget. I therefore demand one billion dollars from Sony for all psychological and material damages they have cause me."
