Scifi fans, can you give an opinion about this prologue? is it too long/ grammar sucks / lame/ is it fun to read / confusing ...etc

[Scoobes]

I'm still reading through, but based on what I've read I would suggest shortening your sentences. The first paragraph for instance would flow a lot better if you separated it into three separate sentences rather than one long sentence separated by multiple comma's.

The story has me intrigued though.