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Yeah, friend codes suck, but lag is generally not an issue. It does come up every once in a while (like in the match WoW mentioned). Still, it's a rare occurance for me. I'd say maybe one match out of every five I have any noticeable lag, and half the time it's because one of the people I'm playing against has a bad connection.

As for voice chat, the immaturity of some of the online console gamers has caused me to never use a mic on a console anyway unless playing with a friend. Even then I can just hook up my headset and hop on Steam.