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JazzB1987 said:

How has NIntendo shitty online? It does not.

It does not, for you.

If the connection routing and number of hops between your console client and the nintendo servers are stacked in your favor, then you will see obvious benefits from that, if however, the odds are stacked against you (further from the server, more hops, network congestion somewhere along the route), then for such a person, thier own view of the situation would be that Nintendo's online sucks.

More broadly, if the issue is a low number of servers, while lag and latency will be a non-issue for some (you, for example), it will still be an issue for many others, so despite it being fine for you in a broader sense, the service as a whole would "suck".

My own personal experience is that with some ISP's nintendo's online infrastructure was terrible, and with others it was fine, this is down to Nintendo having the lowest number of network servers of the three major console manufacturers (granted because Online plays less of a role for Nintendo currently), that lower number of servers means lower coverage across the globe, lower coverage results in a much larger portion of users being located further away from a Nintendo server, while plenty of people would be fine, located nearer to a node, more people would be in a situation of lag effecting them more often.

As far as server distribution goes, Nintendo has the lowest, Sony is about in the middle and Microsoft has the highest, that metric alone, despite individuals experiences with online, suggests that of the three manufacturers, Nintendo's infrastructure does infact suck for many people.

JazzB1987 said:

I have no problems with Mario Kart whatsoever.

You are an individual, if you're as intelligent as you want us to believe then you would not attribute an entire services performance to the experience of a single user.

JazzB1987 said:

Saying  "Nintendo just sucks at online" is a lie and was not the smartest reply one could make.

At worst it's a generalization, at best it's an opinion, but a lie it is not, it's just as relevant and significant an experience and resulting statement as you saying Nintendo's online "is fine" based off of your experience alone.