Smash Bros. sucks

[ZenfoldorVGI]

leo-j said:
Thats a persons opinion, and you should not attack them.

Don't be silly. I can attack anyones opinion I want. Bear with me, I actually have something to say:

 

I read that whole crock of shit, and its just a round about way for a Nintendo-Hater(Michael Thomsen, as proven time and time again) to flame Brawl, without having to do it in the context of a traditional review.

 

If he did do it in the context of a traditional review, he would be flamed and marginalized as a fanboy by more than just those that know it to be fact.

 

Frankly, his assertion that Brawl "has laggy controls" and "is too childish because of the single player Master Hand theme" is asserting that the game was developed poorly from the inception, which is reduclious, yet still his opinion. Almost there, read on.

 

He's trying to tell us Brawl sucks, but he's disguising it with enough words and vocabluary to fool us into thinking he knows what he's talking about, and might have a point.

 

Well, frankly, big words and text don't scare me, and after reading that, I declare that its one of the biggest piles of bullshit on the internet, and I also contend that it probably is satirical. Last word:

 

It's satirical in that, either this guy is making a joke at the expense of modern bloggers, or he's absolutely insane, and the most freaked out exestentialist writer I've every had the displeasure of wading through.

 

...and that's my opinion.

 

Edit: Calling Nintendo characters in a game, a disturbing nod to an evil corporation? Man, this guy is on crack, lol. I read it again, seriously, some of the stuff in here is just freakin "out there." Crazzy couldn't make this shit up.

 

"But it's fun." This is the argument any conversation about Smash Bros. always returns to. What is fun about it? Is it simply the experience of being good at something? Is it the wonder of seeing all your favorite childhood toys in one centralized hub world, fully pliable and willing to supplicate to your whims? Is it the experience of playing against your friends in an absurd cartoon world where all the normal constraints of real life fade away in the charred path of Pikachu's lightning strike? Isn't it, instead a kind of mass hypnosis (all too common in the gaming world) where we mutually convince ourselves that the brand is the message; that the label we package the experience in is paramount? Playing Brawl is an uncomfortably empty experience. When I put down the Wii remote and nunchuk (yes, that's how I prefer to play) and walk away from the Wii, I feel like I've given more of myself than I received in return from the game. It doesn't matter, finally, whether I've won or lost because the game has provided me with nothing but distraction.

 

Read that 3 times. That's his final word. His summation. Seriously, that's a brain screw. Can someone paraphrase that and tell me what his summation even means. I mean, the topic of this post is "Brawl sucks" but I don't think he ever says that in there, he just says a lot of stuff that is so....christ, I don't even know what to make of that. Someone explain that paragraph too me. Does he mean that we've tricked ourselves into liking Brawl because it's fun, but since we don't know why, it's an empty experience, contrary to other, real games, which give us a much more fufilling experience? Wow, wtf, lol. Seriously?

 

Man, this article passes, cause its some of the weirdiest way I've ever seen for someone to passive-agressively flame a game, because they hate the company that made it, without having to actually pretend the game sucks. Freaky.

It's still mind-fuck bullshit at its core, but the guy know his mind-fuck bullshit if anyone does.

 

Supplicate our whims!? Holy fucking shit, lol. It's like some freaky sexual inuendo, for real.