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LOL Sorry, but the OP's suggestions are at least mildly hilarious. The Game Boy and then DS/3DS lines are the most successful portable consoles in gaming history. They did not announce the "2DS" as a replacement, but a side thing, and Reggie even indicated that it was clearly aimed mostly at younger gamers, because 3D is bad for little kids' eyes, and the non-folding design probably makes it sturdier and less breakable for small children to handle.

It's not a "cry for help". It's just a side product. How silly.