You are hurting because you are realising the truth but society tells you the exact opposite. From childhood you are told that succes equals a well paid job, but it isn't. You are starting to doubt capitalism? That's because it is wrong and corrupt. Striving towards profit is not a proper lives goal. You are struggling because you feel the way the world works doesn't make sense, and that's because it is not working efficiently right now. However you feel the pressure of society to ''fit in''. Just look at some of the comments here saying ''you should get help''. Well i'm sorry to tell you you won't find any help with this.... because you are right. As long as this world only cares about money will we never get anywhere and will remain on a fast track to destroying this planet.
What does help? Watch these two Zeitgeist movement movies, they fit in exactly with you feelings and you will realise you are not alone: (first movie ''zeitgeist 2'' escpecially from 40:00 in). Some parts you will not agree on everything but just watch them through.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gKX9TWRyfs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex8U_4rJn4s
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