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Stop crying and take care of your Kid. Crying is no answer 10 to 1 you find someone or something that makes you happy in less than a year and then you feel stupid for crying... Anyway people don't believe it but being sad is your own choice, be happy for what you have like your kid, then again nobody said you have to drink again your own choice and sitting lonely in your house is again your own choice go out meet people..   Suffering and Happiness are parts of life, when you blessed with happiness you should enjoy it to the maximum when you suffer you should try to be so strong as possible..; Oh well you already wrote yourself that it is your own fault atleast you knew that.