Fayceless said:
Human emotions have a base line, what you feel when you have nothing else to fee. Ideally, this is happy, or content. Depression happens when a person should feel those, but instead feels sad, anxious or angry. I had an anxiety problem that led to depression. I buried my emotions because if I didn't, I was crippled by anxiety. Anxiety over nothing. For no reason. It was simply what I felt, with no triggers or stresses or anything to make me feel that way. I played WoW and other games for hours on end, doing nothing, running in circles, reading chat, for no reason other than to focus on something, anything, other than what I was feeling. I didn't even realize why I was doing it. I had to push my feeling away, because I wasn't capable of feeling positive feelings. If I opened myself up to feel something, all I felt was bad. Nothing could make me feel good, only distract me for a moment. The anxiety was always there, I couldn't will it away or think happy thoughts. I couldn't hold a job - the anxiety would build up to the point I couldn't function. I had trouble in school, I would throw and break things, skip classes because I was too angry to do anything. One time I couldn't find a parking spot for class, so I drove three hours away, missing work, so I wouldn't have to deal with what I was feeling - that's CRAZY but that's what messed up emotions can do to you. Making mountains out of molehills wasn't my choice - I didn't even realize what was wrong with me. When I began to figure it out (with help) I was able to manage better, but what really helped was medication that took the anxiety away. When I first started taking it...I found that I could relax. I could RELAX. I hadn't even realized it, but I was absolutely incapable of relaxation for YEARS. Relaxation is critical to being a functional person, and I couldn't do it at all! Every day was a battle against my feelings, and I was losing. I was not in control, no matter how I wanted to be, and that drove me crazy. To the point that I considered doing drastic things (not suicide, I don't consider that a viable option) and DID drastic things just to...well I guess to communicate how I felt, but I never felt like anyone ever understood how I felt. It's very difficult to understand, unless you've experienced it. Many people, like the person I have quoted, don't even try to understand. I'm not 100% today. I still have random spikes of anxiety and depression, but it's not crippling, and it's usually triggered by something and I know what and why. I can deal with it now. Sometimes I still have random bursts of intense anxiety over silly thoughs like "who was the 3rd president of the U.S?" but they are short-lived and go away after a few seconds. I still tend to bury my emotions because I'm afraid of what I might feel. But I'm improved from where I once was. In my case, medication was the answer. I had constant, persistent, invasive anxiety that was out of my control, and now I do not. I am, once again, in control. So I do get upset when people believe that depression is a lie, an excuse, or "all in your head." Because when people believe that, it hinders the progress of those who are depressed. It holds them back, makes them hide their depression instead of seeking help. It makes them feel worse for being stigmatized and feeling like nobody can undertand what they feel. You just make the world a worse place when dismiss mental illness. |
I agree with this completely. Situations most of the time are just not that black and white and there is always more than meets the eye. If you are dealing with a life situation, especially with other people involved, there should always be some amount of empathy anyway no matter how much a person annoys or frustrates you. You do not have the information to set them straight on their path and to 'prove' their illness is 'fake' anyway. That is why they are seeking help. Generally getting angry or becoming passive aggressive towards someone because you think they are using a diagnosis as something of an excuse will not improve the situation.
If I am dealing with a person with a immaturity issue and that person shows no effort and has lack of desire to get a job done, then that can be pointed out and addressed if it's job related... but trying to tell people their illness is fake or how to run their lives is not really our place, because that is for a medical professional to help them and for them to solve by themselves.
I separate the personal issues from the general business being done when it comes to work. Just like I don't want people to pre-judge me, I do not pre-judge them. The thing is, if you have a medical problem that may cause problems at work, you just have to handle that as best as you can in your own time... this is hard sometimes because some people bring their personal life issues into the job even though it's not a good idea. However, if a job is not getting done and it's been pointed out and documented, then they need to seek treatment for their illness if it is interfering that badly with work. People can only create reasonable accomodations for others, but bullying and treating that person as they are faking it is unnecessary. I didn't like the stress that was created when my employers were taking me aside for missing work too much due to my health problems, but I understood their position and that it was strictly business....
Antagonizing the situation because you have an opinion wouldn't help anything. If it's a friend who you believe is using this as a reason for not being a good friend, then it's even more pointless to do so and then just don't associate with that person and let them go on with their life rather than create drama... there's no reason to punish somebody else because you have a pre-judgement about mental illness diagnoses in society. That's why I prefer no-nonsense, reserve your judgement ahead of time approach... I don't have to totally believe anything a person ever says, but if it's not justified, then don't put more on their plate than they already have if they are having a maturity/psychological issue. Clearly, if you don't have a mental problem and can't relate, you can't tell the other person how to go about solving their issue anyway...
and you = universal you/everyone, nobody specific. I have a tendency to write that way and I need to be careful about that habit...
