| sales2099 said: I hate this type of stuff. Its just a way of medically trying to justify "not having your shit together". Im referring to being "depressed", not bipolar. |
And you have zero idea what you're talking about. You have no idea how your emotions being off can make every day difficult. Getting it together takes willpower, and depression can sap that from you. You have no motivation, because you don't feel happy, you don't feel hopeful, you don't feel like you can or will go anywhere, even if you try. Depression isn't an excuse for somebody's life falling apart, it's a REASON for it. Getting back on your feet is important to overcoming depression but simply saying things like "snap out of it" or "grow up and deal with it" will not help a person who is legitimately depressed. So do not try that, It will not help, it will only do harm.
Human emotions have a base line, what you feel when you have nothing else to fee. Ideally, this is happy, or content. Depression happens when a person should feel those, but instead feels sad, anxious or angry. I had an anxiety problem that led to depression. I buried my emotions because if I didn't, I was crippled by anxiety. Anxiety over nothing. For no reason. It was simply what I felt, with no triggers or stresses or anything to make me feel that way. I played WoW and other games for hours on end, doing nothing, running in circles, reading chat, for no reason other than to focus on something, anything, other than what I was feeling. I didn't even realize why I was doing it. I had to push my feeling away, because I wasn't capable of feeling positive feelings. If I opened myself up to feel something, all I felt was bad. Nothing could make me feel good, only distract me for a moment. The anxiety was always there, I couldn't will it away or think happy thoughts.
I couldn't hold a job - the anxiety would build up to the point I couldn't function. I had trouble in school, I would throw and break things, skip classes because I was too angry to do anything. One time I couldn't find a parking spot for class, so I drove three hours away, missing work, so I wouldn't have to deal with what I was feeling - that's CRAZY but that's what messed up emotions can do to you. Making mountains out of molehills wasn't my choice - I didn't even realize what was wrong with me. When I began to figure it out (with help) I was able to manage better, but what really helped was medication that took the anxiety away. When I first started taking it...I found that I could relax. I could RELAX. I hadn't even realized it, but I was absolutely incapable of relaxation for YEARS. Relaxation is critical to being a functional person, and I couldn't do it at all!
Every day was a battle against my feelings, and I was losing. I was not in control, no matter how I wanted to be, and that drove me crazy. To the point that I considered doing drastic things (not suicide, I don't consider that a viable option) and DID drastic things just to...well I guess to communicate how I felt, but I never felt like anyone ever understood how I felt. It's very difficult to understand, unless you've experienced it. Many people, like the person I have quoted, don't even try to understand.
I'm not 100% today. I still have random spikes of anxiety and depression, but it's not crippling, and it's usually triggered by something and I know what and why. I can deal with it now. Sometimes I still have random bursts of intense anxiety over silly thoughs like "who was the 3rd president of the U.S?" but they are short-lived and go away after a few seconds. I still tend to bury my emotions because I'm afraid of what I might feel. But I'm improved from where I once was. In my case, medication was the answer. I had constant, persistent, invasive anxiety that was out of my control, and now I do not. I am, once again, in control.
So I do get upset when people believe that depression is a lie, an excuse, or "all in your head." Because when people believe that, it hinders the progress of those who are depressed. It holds them back, makes them hide their depression instead of seeking help. It makes them feel worse for being stigmatized and feeling like nobody can undertand what they feel. You just make the world a worse place when dismiss mental illness.
