My ex came to see her kids for the first time in two years- first night at a hotel with them she braided my daughters hair like a Ghetto child and gave my boys earrings....

[Zappykins]

Dude, don't let your kids be in the middle of a territorial fight about your kids. Their mother is trying to put her 'mark' so to speak on the kids. Let your kids decide what they want to were. They may stick to some of the things, but probably were already more like they wanted to be. You shouldn't criticize their mom - cause no-matter what, that's still their mom.

Hopefully that had a good time and will have good memories with her.

2 years? And since we didn't just have someone return from Mars I doubt she has a real explanation of why to be so absent. Parents that are in 'every so often' seem mess their kids up the most. One of my buddies bio Dad was in an out for years. Would say he was going to be around more, maybe a month, or a few weeks, but really messed my friend up. (I am not talking about custody sharing divorced parents - but people that vanish for extended periods of time.)

I really wish people that wanted to be 'occasional' parents - like very few years, would just stay out of it, and let the kid see the people that want to be in their life. And not think something is missing by someone that makes 'guest appearances.'

And good luck with that. It sounds super stressful to have their Mom show up and do that stuff to them. Shocking, shocking I say too! But hopefully that had some good times and they can grow into good happy people.