I love these threads because I love winning them--
Years ago in college I got incredibly shit-faced one night. I don't remember how I made it home but I did make it home in one piece. The next morning, I wake up in the bathroom in front of my toilet with vomit all over the toilet and walls, my pants off, and shit all over the floor of the bathroom. What was really upsetting was that there was vomit/shit on some of my DnD books that I had been reading on the pot (including the $40 Epic Level Handbook).
What I'm thinking happened is that I stumbled home and was going to take a shower since taking a shower usually makes me feel better when drunk. Midway through getting undressed I decide I need to vomit so I make it to the toilet and must have passed out while vomiting or something. While passed out I must have also crapped and then rolled over a times and that's how it got everywhere.
So I spent the next few days cleaning and bleaching the Hell out of that bathroom making sure no poo was to be found. Luckily that was in the apartment where I had my own bathroom so I didn't have to share that embarrassment with the roommates.
--
And now for the disgusting part of the story: I sold those Dungeons and Dragons books to Half Price Books a few days later.
