Post Your Mind

[Michael-5]

Marucha said:

Wall of text incoming... couldn't avoid it.

 

Could you make this question even more harder? lol I think you have to figure that out on your own and make a decision. If you feel pressured to do so 'just because' and not out of want, then maybe for you... or maybe you just can't see that down the path for her and you yet?... not saying that is the case. I think doubt is normal like you said. Especially if you are overthinking it.

With my husband, I've had previous relationships... so I know what I don't like and what direction I don't want to go... but also figured out the direction I do want to go. I've dated some losers, but I've dated some decent folk too that give me faith in the manrace, so I know a good one when I see one. My husband is someone I see going very far with and who I want by my side in this life's journey... he would not hold me back from my dreams and I would not do the same to him. We have abundant respect for each other. We're also both gamers and dorks, so he and I both understand when either of us want to be a basement troll for a few hours to finish a game. He has hobbies too, so he's not overly dependent on me to entertain him. I'm very independent, so he understands my need for space and the bonus is he's doesn't have to play white knight with me when stuff gets hard...

We are both also very hardworkers, and we've done the whole living paycheck to paycheck thing and I'm very easy-going about living with what we have... so money is not a deal breaker for either of us. Though you'd be surprised the little things that can hurt a relationship when you're living together.... the first year and second year is always the hardest, you discover all those little things that annoy you about each other and you must argue to some of it... like my husband, leaving his clothes on the floor in the living room including his underwear!......... but at least the sex is a lot more convenient. That's a big plus. And you can videogame together anytime of the night. I can game, he watches, and we bullshit about it. I like to be alone in my space sometimes, but I'm OK with him knowing my business. Most people, I'm like, stay out of my business! lol... so that's a big deal to me, living with someone. If they get on my nerves, I won't be able to tolerate them 24/7 lol...

We're both passionate about very similar things... Like it's not like a boring lifestyle with him. We love to have fun. We laugh all the time. It's not boring at all. I can't stand a person who can't keep up. So I like that if I say, hey let's go bullshit here... we just go bullshit there... without any reason. We go places to just be together and be out and about... it doesn't matter what it is specifically, but we enjoy eachothers company. He has interests and I try to keep up with it. He benefits from mine a lot. For example, I'm an artist, so sometimes I will paint him 'personalized' booby drawings sometimes. He likes to brag that I do that sorta stuff for him... I like to make 'my people' (people I am close to) happy so. I love spoiling my family (pets included) so...

We've also seen each other's worst sides.. I always like to explain it as... a true person is something like a pie... you take all their faults, shape, cut away at that pie and the shape you get is the true person, the true form of what something is... never them at their ideal...... that's the biggest mistake I think most people can make, is marrying someone for their ideals...  I love my husband, even in his worst side. He is a pain in the ass sometimes and I know I get cranky and difficult when I'm hurting from health problems and I can be overly blunt when I point things out in detail lol... But we love each other still irregardless. We laugh at ourselves and it helps reduce our stress. I laugh at every chance I get. I don't see the point to life if you don't have fun sometimes, go out, or don't make jokes....

So yeah.... reading all that reminds me of why I am married. I don't know if it will help you LOL. Some of it seems like random meaningless information for you... because I think that really is something you can decide. I don't know who the else could fill the shoes my husband fills. I mean, life would be bullshit without him...... I am not dependent on people and I don't need them to fill a place, so that's why when I mentioned I used to tend to sabotage relationships... that's why... sometimes people just become inconvenient for me and ultimately for them,... I mean if they don't know how to have fun with me without me motivating them or telling them... it just got boring and I knew longterm that it would only get worse and I accepted those facts easily so..... like I had a boyfriend that would get jealous when I played a game... and think I was about to break up with him. He was so fixated on that, even though he was a good guy at heart, he couldn't get past it so it just stopped being a good fit for me...

 

Anyway, all that stuff is tailored to me. Use your own judgement!

First of all, thank you, the relatonship you have with your husband sounds a lot like my relationship with my girlfriend.

However, although my gf still lives with her parents, I have been on my own for 3 years, so my girlfriends knows about how I live. I am messier then her, especilly with dishes, but she doesn't like to clean the floors or do laundry, so I think we can work out an agreement. She hates that I have 2 drawers filled with socks, lol I just don't like to run out of socks. I do generally make an effort to having my place being clean for her, I think just the time together would be nice.

My girlfriend doesn't game, not like I do, but I know her well enough to see when she feels like playing a game. She has similar interest in games as I do, she loves JRPG's, but the JRPG's I like are pretty hard, so she only plays when I watch and help. It's fun watching her and helping her. She is pretty bad at games, but I'm sure when she gets better she'll probably play some JRPG's alone. Her only complaint against Lost Odyssey is that some bosses are too hard, and she hates how there isn't always a save right before a boss.

We usually just talk, we have tea and either watch Big Bang Theory, or Game of Thrones, or just cuddle. Cuddling usually leads to something else, but we end up spending 3-4 hours in bed when she is over, and we only wake up (sometimes we nap) because we're hungry. Unlike you, we are both pretty dependent on each other. We always have to tell each other every details of our lives, and this is why we probably talk a lot more then most couples/ If I lived with her, I'm sure she would game more, but anyway I'm getting off topic. (P.S. She loves the Box Art to White Knight Chronicles, she wants to try out that game, but I'm trying to limit her to 1 or 2 games at a time, so she can eventually beat one).

LOL about the boobie paintings, that's cute.

I don't get your pie analogy, but I agree with you about love the person as a whole, not just the ideal. One reason I love my girlfriend is because she is the only person who's seen me at my worst, and she's stuck by me. She might suck at consolodating me, but she is there, so when something bugs me, and I take time to cool off, I have a nice reward (someone who cares) at th end, every time. She is getting better at calming me down too, but we've only dated for 4 years, so we both still have a lot to learn about each other. I've seen her at her worst too, she is pretty simple minded so I know exactly how to consolodate her (usually food, and listening, but she is only grumpy when she is hungry).

What you said isn't meaningless, and I had a friend who broke up for the reason you broke up with your ex. I think my relationship with her is similar to yours, so that's comforting.

I don't think we go out enough to get as many laughs in as we should. We're both just busy people, and she is a bit of a workaholic. However when we spend time together, we mostly just eat, talk, cuddle, and maybe watch some tv or play games. I agree with you laughter is essential for a relationship, and you kow what? We do laugh a lot, but only when we go out. We need to go out more, I need to take her out somewhere special, her birthday is coming up soon.

 

Thank You. Hopefully I can stop thinking about other girls, it's really annoying. I'm going to make a habbit of eating something yummy and having a beer when I feel that way. Usally Beer and Mass Effect cheer me up.