Let's Talk About the Dangers of Porn

[Runa216]

Mummelmann said:
"watch porn and get in the mood to go have fun with your partner"

Something I have never understood and never needed. If your partner alone can't turn you on then there's something wrong with your relationship. The vast majority of girls I know would be seriously offended (by rights) if their boyfriends/husbands wound themselves up on porn and then came around to making advances for having watched someone else having sex.
If they watch it together, then its something else entirely, its something mutual and agreed upon.

Mind you, I'm not demonizing porn here but the above statement just always puzzled me.

Who says it's becuase they 'can't' turn you on?  I had a girlfriend who was super hot (ex marine, had a great bod, shared all my fetish loves), but we looooved looking at porn together, and even sharing porn of one another becuase it gave us ideas and kept the sex fresh.  Plenty of new positions, new things we can stuff in one another, and different kinks we'd never even thought of.  

There's nothing inherently unhealthy about using toys or porn or anything else to spice things up, and it's certainly not fair to assume that just becuase you WANT something spiced up, that you NEED it spiced up.  Trust me, we never had any problem getting it on with or without visual aids, but sometimes that's what we were in the mood for.  

Like anything, moderation is key.  Now, if I was not turned on by my girlfriend, or if I was stupid enough to expect her to have a porn starlet body and therefore wasn't attracted to her, or if I was giving up time with her to go fap alone, then that's certainly an unhealthy relationship.  However, that's just not the case, and it never was.  the key to ANY successful relationship, regardless of kinks, is trust, honesty, and openness.  It IS harmful to ignore your girlfriend and just look at porn, b ut include her in it (or vice versa; girls look at porn too), and it becomes something you enjoy. 

Balance.  It's all about balance.