12-12-12 is the last time you'll ever see repeating numbers in the calender

[Dodece]

@toadslayer72

Well I don't have children, and don't have intentions of having any. Mind you it isn't that I haven't thought about that, and I can appreciate the value they bring to some peoples lives, but when I am honest with myself. I have to admit that I have the wrong temperament for being a good parent. I have seen enough bad parents. I am that person that needs more solitude and order then most.

As for when I am half a century old. I honestly doubt that my opinion will change. I don't fear death half as much as I fear pain, or causing others pain. I suspect it goes deeper then that though. My grandparents on my mothers side ruined a lot of my childhood with their neediness. They played on my mothers desire to help them, and took advantage of her good nature.

I am still kind of heart broken about all the family outings that got cancelled just, because my grandmother decided to be a selfish bitch. I mean the women was a total drama queen, and a petty manipulator. She would manufacture all kinds of problems, and lay guilt trips on just about everyone. So she could have people look after here hand and foot. While my Grandfather was a decent enough guy, but physically he was a complete medical disaster area, and a total junkie too boot. I don't think he wanted to spend years so totally fucked up, but his old lady was a manipulator who laid a epic guilt trip on his ass. She worked him so hard. She had him convinced that he was going to hell. So it is no wonder he was scared to death of dying.

So it isn't like I had a lot of good role models as far as old age is concerned. So to me being old is like being just plain malevolent, or being in excruciating agony, and who would have any aspirations of being that. So I definitely don't want to be old, because it sucks, and it seems to make you a shitty person. To be fair based on the stories I heard from my mother after my grandmother passed. She was a thoroughly shitty person through out most of her life.