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Max King of the Wild on 03 December 2012
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TeddostheFireKing said:
Max King of the Wild said:


 

 

 

Sorry, didn't have time to expand on my thoughts and forgot to go back later. The reason I say this is because of a few different reasons.

1. He admits he needs to "grow up." Thats fantastic! but... it's not something you can really force yourself to do. On top of that he may start despising it since he basically forced himself into maturity and may start blaming her for it.

2. She set restrictions on him with the kids. Uh... restrictions are never a good thing. I don't really feel like I need to expand on that further.

1). When my mates say they need to grow up or be more mature, they're generally the most mature ones and use a few examples of when they do something a little childish as their standard, the way they really act is often quite mature and they can act as excellent role models (but this would vary a lot).

2). Long term restrictions are not, temporary ones I can agree too, of course how long is too long is open to extreme debate (and would again vary per person).

But can we both agree to proceed with caution but have a positive outlook on this relationship? :)

1. Yes, it would vary a lot. Some very mature individuals may make an immature mistake and identify it and say they need to grow up. But in this scenario I get the feeling he never analyzed the situation and the possible outcomes (since obviously kid attachment would most definatly be one). And I don't believe he is really looking for that or ready for that by some of his comments such as "I figure she should call me since I didn't really do anything wrong."

2. Yeah, I was basing this off of my past experience. My relationship failed because my ex started setting restrictions on who I could talk to. At first I told her that it was stupid... apparently she thought I agreed to it though. That caused major issues when she found out I was still talking to the person (My ex of now 11 years and it was only through texts every once in a GREAT while I haven't even seen her like 3 years before me and her started dating so she was mostly out of the picture). Since it caused a huge issue I just started hiding the fact we still talked. Which she found out to. I really started resenting her since there was no reason to ask me to stop talking to a now friend who I never see.

Basically what I'm saying is... I wasn't thinking in temporary terms since I was basing off of personal experience of permanent terms. However, I still don't think "You can't be a part of my kids lives until I give the okay." is a good restriction. However, you made a very good point that I overlooked.

Yes, I agree that if he is determined to still date this girl to proceed with caution. And yes have a positive outlook.