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Andrespetmonkey said:

He hasn't logged in in approximately 8 days 3 hours and 45 seconds so I can only assume the worst.

I'm not high enough/have spurgeonryan's imagination to think of several ways he could of died, so I'll just assume he jacked off to a picture of steve jobs on his ipad for far too long, leading to his eventual death by fatigue. 

Favourite MBP moment?

Side note: I felt like something burst/snapped in my lower stomach like 2 hours ago and now I have pain in the area every now and then. Doctors of Chartz, what happened to me?

You are going through puberty finally.