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I hate to be that guy but.....while I enjoyed it while I was watching it, and I didn't really like the Raimi movies that much (I especially hated Spider-Man 2--and for some reason, I was the only one.), I think this was a pretty bad version of the Spider-Man origin. And I'm even aware of the true story of Peter's parents from the comics and stuff. Why didn't I love it?

Well, the action was good and, at times, amazing. The acting was good. The special effects were awesome. It just did a lot of things wrong.

1. Spidey wasn't funny. Not at all. Perhaps it was the evolution of Peter Parke into that Spider-Man that talks so much smack that his foes can't focus on killing him. Maybe it was too soon for him to get over the death of Uncle Ben. Still, Spidey came off as more of a bully and a dick instead of a guy who was in over his head. I actually felt like groaning during that car jack scene.

2. Uncle Ben kinda brought it on himself. That thief never had any intentions of killing him! He was running and dropped his gun. Uncle Ben dove on it like he was Batman. OF COURSE HE GOT KILLED! And he never even said, "With great power comes great responsibility."


3. Spidey took his mask off waaaaay too many times. I mean, everybody saw his face in this movie. Why even wear a mask if you're just going to reveal your identity to everybody?


4. The Lizard had no motivation to do the things he did. Yeah, he got lizard powers (and he looked more like Killer Croc from Batman than the character, the Lizard). That was enough to make him evil? That made him want to turn the world into lizard people? And HE found out that Peter Parker was Spider-Man, too. Why? Because, like Bart Simpson, Peter couldn't resist leaving a "Property of Peter Parker sticker on his camera.


5. Peter was a bit of a dick. Look at how he treats his Uncle Ben. Look at how badly he treats his sweet Aunt May, no matter how sweet and understanding she is. I even felt bad for the way he treated Flash Thompson. With great power comes the ability to treat everybody like shit, I guess. What an emo brat, Peter has become.


6. He was kissing Emma Stone and I wasn't.


7. He didn't even make his webs. He got them in the mail from Norman Osborn's company. The fuck!? If he couldn't come up with the chemicals by himself (which wasn't done in the Raimi movies because the thought nobody would believe that a high school kid could come up with them.), they probably would have been better off as organic. It's not like he ever ran out of them or anything--a big plot device in the comics.


8. The most disappointing "After credits scene", ever. I mean, what the fuck? It added nothing. No "Holy shit! They're going to make the Avengers!". No "Holy shit! That's the Cosmic Cube!!". Definitely no "HOLY SHIT! THAT'S THANOS!!".


9. The trailer gives away everything. Is he going to be able to destroy that tower? Well.....yeah. I saw it in the trailer almost a year ago. Same with Peter getting his mask removed by the cops. Same with Gwen Stacy knowing who he was. Almost reveal worth revealing was given away in the movie.


10. They stole Batman's origin. Batman never found his parent's killer (in the comics.....until the retconned it.....and then retconned it again so that he didn't.....and then retconned it so that he did......). That's why he does what he does. He never go his closure. Robin is happy go lucky because he found his parent's killer. So was Spider-Man. In this one, he never finds the guy that killed Uncle Ben. He just goes around attacking blond white guys with long hair. He's supposed to realize that he's responsible for his uncle's death because he failed to act. He then uses his powers because, by not using them, the person he loved the most died. In this movie, he's just seeking vengeance for his uncle's death. It's like he bares none of the responsibility. He just knows the guy who killed his uncle looks a certain way.


I still liked it enough to buy the game (which I shall be playing all night long!) but I was pretty let down by the movie. The Raimi movies were way too campy and kinda stupid but I actually cared a lot about Tobey McGuire's Peter Parker. He cried a lot but I still could relate to him. This Peter Parker just turned me off. Maybe the sequel will get it right. I wanted to love this movie like I loved almost all of the other recent Marvel films.