Not on your side. You can't expect to be in a relationship and have free time that isn't agreed in advance.
In both of those situations you promised X in advance and then did Y. No matter how small Y is, it's still different and she still has the right to be annoyed.
You cannot point out to women what they do doesn't make equal sense; a relationship is never on equal terms. You just have to make sure she's happy /before/ you make any decision for yourself, not after. You can't keep score on who's done what either, that's also hurtful.
Even when you feel she is wrong, don't get in an argument. Either give in extremely fast (best option) or if you do absolutely have to make a point, do it in a normal voice and not in a confrontational way. The feel-good part is, after giving in, knowing you're still right but ALSO you managed to not upset her.
Like: "Do it now" "Give me 20 minutes" "AAAAAA" "OK I'm doing it now (neutral tone)"
