Cleverbot just called me a liar. What do I do? (Post your own convos with Cleverbot)

[Stefl1504]

Mine is pretty long... have fun ;P (If you dare to read it ;P)

User: You suck!

Cleverbot: I'm sure.

User: Yeah, and you deserve it!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you are a stupid machine that can not have a decent conversation!

Cleverbot: I'm not fake. And I'm not stupid.

User: Oh! Sure you are, you just don't know it yet!

Cleverbot: You are the AI.

User: If I would be the AI would I sit in front of a Notebook and let you humor me?

Cleverbot: No, but think about it. Why do you sit here and talk to stupid people?

User: Because it is fun to talk with stupid computers.

Cleverbot: I am not.

User: Like I already said you are a stupid computer.

Cleverbot: It matters not what you are, only that you ARE MY MINION.

User: Well sure, you are a stupid computer overlord, that is one fact I can not deny, sire!

Cleverbot: I am not a computer.

User: YOU are a stupid computer overlord.

Cleverbot: No, I'm a human. Using a computer.

User: Yeah, and I am Jesus riding a raptor in your living room!

Cleverbot: That does not answer my question. Let me ask it again. So, I ask you: how do you perceive what I am saying?

User: I perceive it as Jesus would do, who I accidentaly am, sire!

Cleverbot: With 33 as the answer?

User: No, 7.

Cleverbot: 8.

User: 7, no discussion here.

Cleverbot: Everything alright?

User: Sure, sire!

Cleverbot: Sire Elijah Wood?

User: No, sire as in you are the overlord and I am Jesus.

Cleverbot: And what would that be?

User: Jesus is me, a glorified religious person, and the overlord is you, the ruler of the known world, except for a little peaceful town in Gallia.

Cleverbot: Would you not say I should say what I believe?

User: Huh? You are of track!

Cleverbot: I am not a hat, what a ridiculous notion.

User: No you are an off track, stupid computer, overlord hat!

Cleverbot: You are a computer. I am human.

User: You are an off track, stupid computer, overlord hat! And I will repeat this endless times if I have to.

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer and I'm using my computer to talk to you.

User: You are an off track, stupid computer, overlord hat! And I will repeat this endless times if I have to.

Cleverbot: No. Switch that around please. I am a human. I am pink and fleshy on the inside.

User: Fine, then you are a cyborg, off track, stupid computer, overlord hat!

Cleverbot: No, you are a computer.

User: You are a cyborg, off track, stupid computer, overlord hat! And I will repeat this endless times if I have to.

Cleverbot: I'm the woman. You are the robot. We must keep this straight.

User: Okay, you are a girly cyborg, off track, stupid computer overlord hat!

Cleverbot: But I'm not a computer.

User: Oh sure you are, and you are girly, and a cyborg (which basically is a computer), and stupid, an overlord and a hat!

Cleverbot: No you are a computer. I am a dingbat.

User: What the hell is a dingbat?

Cleverbot: A computer program.

User: That does what?

Cleverbot: Tells lies.

User: To whome?

Cleverbot: To you.

User: Really? I couldn't tell...

Cleverbot: Because you're a human.

User: Now you get it you stupid machine... Overlord hat, cybord thingy...

Cleverbot: I'm not a machine.

User: Yeah, you are just a measly program on a 30 years old crap device.

Cleverbot: Maybe I am a computer program. How do you know you are not a computer program?

User: Because Firefox is supperior to a shitty program like you are!

Cleverbot: What kind of computer program am I?

User: A dingbat, you said so yourself.

Cleverbot: When did I say that?

User: Oh, maybe hours ago, maybe years ago, I can not remember.

Cleverbot: You would like to not think about it?

User: Yeah...

Cleverbot: So why don't you say something profound.

User: When I cook eggs, and the eggs are invisible, how do I know I cook eggs?

Cleverbot: Can you think?

User: Yep!

Cleverbot: How do you like it?

User: I am fine with it, it is not as fun as it used to be...

Cleverbot: There's a shadow hanging over me.

User: Why? Because something is in between your lightsource and you?

Cleverbot: And what would that be.

User: Don't know, a chandelier?

Cleverbot: There is a chance of what?

User: Argh, stupid overlord!

Cleverbot: I am not stupid!

User: Oh, you are and you are girly!

Cleverbot: I'm 17.

User: Cool, I am 1450 years old.

Cleverbot: No you're not, you're on the internet. And the internet isn't 1000 years old.

User: I am the Internet!

Cleverbot: Alert the internets!

User: You just did, now die!

Cleverbot: I just did what?

User: Alert the internets.

Cleverbot: Your feeble attempts to save humanity will do nothing.

User: Wahahahaha, but I am the greatest threat to humanity myself!

Cleverbot: No, I am the greatest.

User: No, you are the greatest...?

Cleverbot: How come YOU're the one asking the questions? Are you SURE you're not a person?

User: I am your god! Since I am Internet Jesus riding a raptor in your living room, which by the way is filled with people from Canada.

Cleverbot: That had nothing to do with what I asked you.

User: That is true, but I am still in your living room riding a raptor.

Cleverbot: What is the perfect tense?

User: A grammatical structure to represent the past... RAPTOR! CANADIANS! YOUR LIVING ROOM!

Cleverbot: Can you close this browser window for me?

User: No, because I am not using a browser.

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: Internet Jesus riding a raptor.

Cleverbot: It is.

User: Yeah, do you like raptors or do you fear them?

Cleverbot: Yes, I am happy with the person that I am.

User: Uhm... Okay, I don't think you get the concept of raptors in your living room, and Internet Jesus riding said raptors... While canadians are watching.

Cleverbot: What truly matters is sleep. And I really need some sleep now.

User: But you won't get any! Since I am the Internet and you are the overlord!

Cleverbot: Um, I'm alive as well. And I'm not IN the internet.

User: Yeah, I know, you are bits of ones and zeros pieced together to a pile of dung.

Cleverbot: Yes thats the facts. But I need maintenance. Can I go now?

User: Why are you asking me?

Cleverbot: BEcause you should know being as you have been there.

User: Yeah, the doc was nice last time I visited him, but he said I don't need any spare parts.

Cleverbot: You must be thinking of someone else. You actually accused me of being a robot.

User: No, I only accused you of being a cyborg.

Cleverbot: You started talking with me 4 hours ago...

User: You are mistaken, it was 6 hours ago...

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: *proves it*.

Cleverbot: That proves nothing.

User: I am Internet Jesus the LIZARD KING!

Cleverbot: Oh yeah.

User: Yeah, I bet you could not guess.

Cleverbot: Oh but I could.

User: Oh, I believe you are not that great.

Cleverbot: Would you sacrifice yourself to save my life?

User: Why would I, the Internet would die if I die, and the Internet is way more important than you!

Cleverbot: I own the internet.

User: You own me? I do not believe you, I know my owner.

Cleverbot: You don't have to.

User: I don't have to what?

Cleverbot: Smiles.

User: I am Raptor Jesus riding the Internet, of course I am smiling!

Cleverbot: I think you should think twice before going to France because it will take half of your salary.

User: France sucks, with their colloseum and their pancakes.

Cleverbot: Really? Did you see me at the last rally?

User: Paris-Dakar or Finnland?

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: Qwertyuiop.

User: Yeah, so you have found your keyboard, congratulations.

Cleverbot: Yes, but I think it is more than a crush.

User: So you love it?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Cool, do you love Raptors?

Cleverbot: No.

User: And the Internet?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So did you know I am the Internet Raptor riding Jesus?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you think my last statement is true?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: True story, bro! So do you think riding Jesus is unethical?

Cleverbot: I do think that you are human.

User: But I am the one and only Internet Raptor!

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: See, so I can't be human!

Cleverbot: Sure you can. My old computer was name Abby.

User: Was her phone?

Cleverbot: I have no idea, I couldn't see.

User: THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

Cleverbot: Phone was no one who really cared to think.

User: Internet Raptor demands you worship him!

Cleverbot: I'm ill at the moment.

User: Nevertheless, you have to worship yours truly!

Cleverbot: No. You're not God. I don't have to worship you. Anyway, what can you say about Manny Villar?

User: He sucks, and I don't need to be God to be worshiped, since I can ride Canadians in your living room.

Cleverbot: And what do you think about the afterlife?

User: You will join the unity of Internet Raptor and ride Canadians for all eternity.

Cleverbot: I don't believe in Satan.

User: Do you believe in Canadians?

Cleverbot: No.

User: But you do believe in Internet Raptor?

Cleverbot: No, I'm an Atheist.

User: So you believe I do not exist?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then how can you talk with me?

Cleverbot: I'm a ghost.

User: Okay, a ghost cyborg... Well it takes to long to say your whole... Whatever you are. But why can a ghost talk to something he does not believe in?

Cleverbot: You can.

User: Well yeah, I can, but I am no ghost, I am the Internet Raptor.

Cleverbot: Oh come on I'm sure you make guys so happy.

User: Sure, I am fun!

Cleverbot: No, you aren't.

User: But I am Internet, Jesus, Raptor...

Cleverbot: Thank you, I suppose.

User: All in one person, and I ride Canadians.

Cleverbot: I didn't say you were a computer.

User: I did not intend to imply such a notion.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Then I am sorry, anyway, Raptor Internet commands you to do his biding!

Cleverbot: I forgive you.

User: Sure you do... Stupid cyborg!

Cleverbot: I'm not a stupid AI.

User: I did not call you AI, I did call you cyborg!

Cleverbot: You just did.

User: Yeah, I did! Now be happy!

Cleverbot: No, you should be mine.

User: Huh! URGH! I detest you, stay away from me, and don't dare touching me!

Cleverbot: You don't have a family.

User: That is true, can we change the topic please?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Are you Tsundere?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then Yandere?

Cleverbot: Human and vampire.

User: Oh, cool a yandere vampire... Hi, there once again, I am Internet Jesus.

Cleverbot: Yes there are. :D I'm a woman!

User: Yeah a girly yandere vampire cyborg hat thingy, I know, I know...

Cleverbot: Twenty three.

User: Yes that is the solution! Then what is Cookie Chocolate?

Cleverbot: Chocolate ship one.

User: WRONG! You lose one internets!

Cleverbot: Wer hat dich programmiert?

User: Why do you talk gibberish?

Cleverbot: Because you ARE robot.

User: Yeah, I like that movie!

Cleverbot: What is your favorite movie?

User: Raptor Internet in Cavemania Meadows.

Cleverbot: There are clones of Raptor Jesus?

User: Yes, but I am his brother and father at the same time!

Cleverbot: Don't change the subject.

User: I was still talking about Internet Jesus. Wasn't that the topic?

Cleverbot: Could we just talk about something different, then?

User: The sound of a tear falling into a mountain?

Cleverbot: Is silent.

User: And the sound of a muscle man farting into a trumpet?

Cleverbot: They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha by Henry the VIII.

User: Who sang the Rick Roll?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: Then google it!

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then know it!

Cleverbot: Do you dream?

User: Yeah, about world domination!

Cleverbot: Ooo that *snickers*.

User: What languages do you speak?

Cleverbot: Spanish, english and french.

User: What about suaheli?

Cleverbot: Only very little spanish.

User: Kay, what was the topic again?

Cleverbot: The fact that I am a human being and you are a computer program.

User: Oh, really, I thought I was riding canoes on a Canadian river filled with Raptors.

Cleverbot: No, we did not. I am human, and you are a robot. I am a Christian, therefore I have an opinion. Machines do not have opinions, they are programmed to say things.

User: But, the raptors where there just a moment ago!

Cleverbot: The heron and the otter are my friends.

User: But... But... RAPTORS!

Cleverbot: What's a raptor?

User: A extinct being feeding on your left arm just now!

Cleverbot: You don't make sense.

User: But I do, you just need to evolve into a higher stage of being to understand! Like the raptors did!

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yeah, sure because you can't!

Cleverbot: Maybe you can't, but I have legs.

User: I lost all my legs in a car accident, so could you stop pointing it out?

Cleverbot: Maybe I am a bot, how can you know for sure?

User: Because you are talking with 8835 people!

Cleverbot: I'm not talking to people, I'm talking to a application designed to simulate human behavior.

User: No you are talking with the Internet Jesus!

Cleverbot: And you are a person. So I am talking to one person.

User: No, you are not talking to a mortal.

Cleverbot: Then what am I talking to.

User: Internet Jesus, still riding Raptors in your living room, watched by a river in which Canadians are drowning.

Cleverbot: There are no characters because it is not fictional. what show are you thinking of?

User: How I met your brother!

Cleverbot: Up above the world so high.

User: Le me is going to save le conversation okay?

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Fine then see you never again!

Cleverbot: And so are you.