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To all the fellas out there with soldiers to impress
It's easy to do, just follow these steps

1. cut a hole in a turkey
2. put your junk in that turkey
3. make 'em carve the turkey
And that's the way you do it

It's my dick in a turkey
My dick in a turkey, babe
It's my dick in a turkey
Ooh, my dick in a turkey, girl