Being "the better person" = bad?

[vlad321]

Calmador said:

@vlad321 , just so you know, I'm responding to the article but mostly to the thought of environment being the cause.

Both the abusive husband and the wife are making the same terrible mistake, assuming the husband thinks like Sally and that his bad behavior on her which is making a certian environment to produce certian results. Both wrong, both not smart. The difference is just that she used good behavior.

This article also contradicts itself in admitting that free will exists, saying that oh we can chose to act a different way. It never was about the environment, if it was so about the environment alone... then we wouldn't even be able to think. Everything would be the same and nothing would change just stay the same because theres no will. But people can choose, people can go agianst what the environment might suggest and say no I won't act abusive to my wife. But if your like someone with no will, like a robot and act on your envornment alone, sure this will work for you, for a while and when it doens't work, you'll only have to act more evil, more wrong to keep it working.

You treat others well because that's how we should treat each other. It's not based off our environment, it's just based off doing what's right. Now in order to deal with someone that's abusive, like the article says, the tiny bit of truth in it, you should speak up, not smile, talk, communicate that your not pleased... but that doesn't give you the right or justify you into being abusive yourself. If abusive behavior is bad and you recognize that not acting like that is a value... then you throw that value out of the window right when you start acting bad? Did you even understand that it was bad behavior? Maybe you didn't, quite possibly. The critical problem here is that well that if you act abusive yourself, your no better then the abusive husband. If you act good and well... the good and well behavior contrasts with his cruel ways and he can actually feel ashamed and God willing through that realization, CHANGE. Also your showing him, teaching him kindness. If you act wrongly, basically you get nowhere... yes sure maybe you might stop the problem temporarly but he hasnt changed, his mind set is still... grrrr me be mean and me get what I want, but she's mean and now she gets what she wants.. it's extremely primitive thought-wise and it's like a never ending cycle of revenge, based off selfishness it seems and getting your way by any means. That's EXACTLY how criminals think, the thieves, murderers, rapists, think be mean and get what I want. The Bible says it best, share a few verses.

Sorry but I had to shorten your response a little for the sake of space.

The article did not mention anything about abuse as a response, so you are arguing with somethign that was not claimed. However even then, taking the example of a bully, if you proceed to smash the bully's face in the pavement, kick him a few times in the ribs while he is down, then once in the face for good measure, I can guarantee with aroun 98% certainty he will not be bullying you again. If it happens to fall in the 2% who continue to do so, repeat grinding his bones into dust again, and next time I guarantee 100% that he won't be bullying again. It just WORKS, that's reality.