How schlong are you?

[Euphoria14]

sapphi_snake said:

Euphoria14 said:

Born and raised in the good ol' U, S of A. I am caucasian and my family decends from all over. Tracing back we originated from places like France, Norway, Germany, Ireland and Italy. I was a short red head growing up with freckles and now I enjoy drinking, so i'll go with Irish. even though my full last name is Von Stümpp.

How that is pronounced like "Bon Shtoomf" I have no clue.

Anyways I am ~8-8.25 inches schlong.

Seriously? Your name is like that of a James Bond villain.

Long ago, back when my family first came here they had the name shortened to "Stumpp", losing the "ü" as well as the "Von". You're right though, it does sound kind of evil huh? 

The part that is most saddening isn't us dropping those 2 things, but how it is now pronounced. Here i'll give you a hint.

Then there is the fact that I have thumbs like Megan Fox, so it was no wonder people called me "Stumppy".