Thankfully I never had the case of a girl I was interested in and a guy who undermined a relationship I was building. I am an old school kind of guy, before I got my fiancé there were girls I was interested but when I found out they were already with a bf, I chose to not go further. I would only undermine if I see that the bf is a total a** that will make her life miserable and chose to help her but with no interest to have a night with her, if the guy was a good person I would stay away as much as possible for respect. Many girls say I'm too much of a gentleman.
However a college friend of mine was in a relationship with a nice girl and another guy undermined his relationship and stole his girl. I became my friend's drinking buddy and shoulder to cry for the weekend. I believe it was 36 beers in total from Friday to Monday (we didn't have enough money for stronger drinks to last longer). Three months later she went to our college to see him and she was really sorry. The other guy turned out to be a predator and slept with other girl while he was with her. I could see she was really sorry and ashamed for messing up everything. My friend found place in his heart to forgive her but told her that he will never get near her again in his life. Not even at parties, if she was invited he wouldn't go no matter the number of people there... The girl wanted me to help to at least make them be friends again, but I told her that I cannot do it because he was not willing. I understood my friend's feelings all too well.
I was a guy who didn't have a girlfriend before (with my first love being a one sided failure because her bf was way better than me) and there was this girl that got my attention. She was a neighbor of a friend of mine who was a little on the other side (got more straight a few years later). She was amazingly cute and like on the topic, she has a lot of guy friends, many of which were hitting on her while I was watching. She didn't show interest in any of the guys I saw so at a friends's party I invited her to dance (she was always sitting and rejecting other guys) and I got surprised she accepted to dance with me many pieces. Later on either I was hanging out in her house or she in mine. I was taking her advancements towards me as a good sign, specially when she was talking of the guys she was dumping and playing a little to make them give up. We dated a few times and while she looked very interested she wanted things to go slow. I though it was great (the saying, easy comes, easy goes), and my love for her was getting stronger and stronger.
One day I went to hang out with my friend and we were playing basketball with other guys at the block. After the match I wanted to give her a surprise because she didn't know I was there. So I went to her room window and I herd some noises. I saw a small opening in the curtains and took a peek..... I saw her having sex with another guy that she met a few days before. a month and a half after I met her. That scene remained in my head for days. I left stealthy to my friend's house and told him what I saw. Together we found out t was a play, a bet she made concerning me. She was not interested at all but to win her bet and I was in the middle. her close female friends knew all along and were making fun of me, even the guys she was sleeping with knew... that was very humiliating.... I had my revenge but that's another story.
That experience made me realize to be skeptical at all times. A date is worth to try, but never take things for granted. There were girls that were very interesting but with the first date I got disappointed and saved myself from another bas experience
