Synopsis for the tl;dr types. Obviously this is my biased translation:
1) We are manufacturing more home consoles than anyone has ever done before. And we're still sold out. Really sorry about that. We can't rely on our old projections, sorry! We have no stockpiles.
2) Gamestop will be selling Wii rainchecks. Buy the raincheck now, pick up your Wii before January 29th. *kicks eBay in teh groin*
3) We've asked all the retailers to give a big end-of-season push with our most recent shipment. Stores that had 15-20 should have around 100 Wiis. Gimme money.
4) Oh yeah, the DS...prints money, lol
Q&A TIME!
Q: I've heard retired/elderly folk play the Wii.
A: Yup.
Q: More details on the raincheck program plz?
A: Talk to Gamestop. We'll use this to gauge demand though.
Q: Did you shift 50% of your manufactured Wiis to North America during November?
A: Yes. Japan & Europe don't have Thanksgiving shopping insanity.
Q: Will people stop buying new games like SMG because they're satisfied with WiiSports + WiiPlay?
A: We sold 1.2 million copies of SMG! We're beating the PS2's attach rate at 1 year after its launch! SMG has a 97 on Metacritic! We're doing OK.
Q: What about 3rd party publishers? Are they worried about people not buying new games?
A: Nope. Look at Guitar Hero, Mario & Sonic at the Olympics, they're selling great!
Q: Is the raincheck program only for Gamestop?
A: Yes.
Q: Wait, what about 3rd party shovelware?
A: Quality is a subjective term, we don't test based on that. But remember, 3rd party games at launch on the DS were shovelware too, and now they're great!
Q: Do you really think you're expanding the player market?
A: Yes, look at the ESA studies, and the stories at launch. The elderly too.
Q: DS?
A: Still prints money. And NOT sold out.
Q: Online VC games? Voice chat?
A: No online VC games, we don't want to modify the old code (much.) Voice chat maybe.
Q: What about stores that charge more than $250 for the Wii?
A: We break their legs -er, give them fewer Wiis for the next shipment.
Q: Software sales?
A: 6.4 attach ratio, lookin' good!
Q: So, why only 1.8 million?
A: Manufacturing constraints. Oh, and no console has ever done this well, sorry!
Q: O RLY?
A: YA RLY!
Q: What about Latin America and Canada?
A: We're shipping Wiis to those ASAP.
END TRANSMISSION
There is no such thing as a console war. This is the first step to game design.
