killeryoshis on 16 February 2010
D21lewis said:
Last year, when I was still a cop, I had to go to some guy's house for some stupid reason. I pull my patrol car into his yard and wait a minute, like I always do. I figure EVERYBODY has a dog and I hate dogs. I really do. It never stops me from doing my job. I'd just rather avoid being mauled to death, if I can help it.
So, I notice this vicious dog chained to a tree, to the left of my car. He's at the end of his chain, barking his ass off. No big deal. He can't get to me. Besides, I have Mace! If he acts up, I'll spray him.
I get out of my car and walk towards the house. The dog is going crazy. I'm wary of him, but since he can't reach me, I fake being brave. Then, it happens: The dog runs counter clockwise around the tree about 3 times. The chain around his neck gets about 3 times longer. My sweet, sweet ass is easily within dog eating distance. I run to my car. The dog's chain reaches the car, now! I run past my car.
So, I'm in this guy's yard. I can't get inside my car because this psycho dog won't leave without a bite of my juicy buttocks. Fuck it. I'm spraying this damned dog. I take out my pepper spray and aim for the dog's face.
The dog takes one step to the side, and dodges that spray like he's Neo from the Matrix. That's it. I'm out of ideas.
Eventually, I wind up climbing over the roof of my car and getting inside while the chain is tangled around my car's front tires. I'm behind the wheel thinking, "THAT'S why I fucking hate dogs".
Then, the owner comes outside. He says, "I THOUGHT I heard something." "Boy, I'm glad you didn't get outta that car! That dog woulda' ate yo ass!!"
"I know", I replied.
I never mentioned what just happened, but part of me believes the owner sat inside and watched the whole ordeal
Last year, when I was still a cop, I had to go to some guy's house for some stupid reason. I pull my patrol car into his yard and wait a minute, like I always do. I figure EVERYBODY has a dog and I hate dogs. I really do. It never stops me from doing my job. I'd just rather avoid being mauled to death, if I can help it.
So, I notice this vicious dog chained to a tree, to the left of my car. He's at the end of his chain, barking his ass off. No big deal. He can't get to me. Besides, I have Mace! If he acts up, I'll spray him.
I get out of my car and walk towards the house. The dog is going crazy. I'm wary of him, but since he can't reach me, I fake being brave. Then, it happens: The dog runs counter clockwise around the tree about 3 times. The chain around his neck gets about 3 times longer. My sweet, sweet ass is easily within dog eating distance. I run to my car. The dog's chain reaches the car, now! I run past my car.
So, I'm in this guy's yard. I can't get inside my car because this psycho dog won't leave without a bite of my juicy buttocks. Fuck it. I'm spraying this damned dog. I take out my pepper spray and aim for the dog's face.
The dog takes one step to the side, and dodges that spray like he's Neo from the Matrix. That's it. I'm out of ideas.
Eventually, I wind up climbing over the roof of my car and getting inside while the chain is tangled around my car's front tires. I'm behind the wheel thinking, "THAT'S why I fucking hate dogs".
Then, the owner comes outside. He says, "I THOUGHT I heard something." "Boy, I'm glad you didn't get outta that car! That dog woulda' ate yo ass!!"
"I know", I replied.
I never mentioned what just happened, but part of me believes the owner sat inside and watched the whole ordeal
/thread
