Have you ever been cheated/betrayed in some way? I have!!!!

[jjseth]

d21lewis said:
You're right WEEBS. Part of me feels like some kind of predator. I can sense which girls are "weak" enough to fall for my bull-shit.....pretty girls with esteem issues. They never call until I tell them to. They never demand too much. They just take what I allow them to have. I tell them I have a fiancé. I make them feel like they are good enough to take me from her. I tell them what they need to hear. Then I tell my girl at home how much I love her. One day, I'm gonna get caught. I'll probably lose my job when I do. The department REALLY looks down on scandal, and unbecoming conduct. There's a hole in me, and I don't know how to fill it.

And through all of this, I'm being told by people in the community how good a person I am. Nobody, not even people I've arrested, seems to dislike me.

Part of me is addicted to being in love. Part of me is addicted to the depression that comes with the break-up. I have issues. Hopefully, before I lose my job, my girl, or my reputation, I will become the man everyone thinks I am. This is the first time I admit these things about myself. It looks pretty ugly when I read it. I don't plan to ever look at this thread again, but I am glad to have this "somewhat" off of my chest. Thanks.

d21lewis.   I would suggest that you go and get some counseling from a good therapist to work out the issues you had from "Penny" that hurt you so much.   Sure, there are bad women out there that just use guys and break hearts.  But your Fiance is most likely not that type as she has made that commitment to you.   I know what it's like to be cheated on, and it does suck.   Sure, I had my man whore days, but those are pretty much behind me now, well at least to the point of not wanting to make a commitment and just banging random women.

 Instead of reverting to sex as a release from this depression and hole that she created in you, you should pick up a new hobby to do in your time off.   Something that you can enjoy doing and to keep your mind off of sex with random women.   You are 30 now, and should be at the stage in your life where you can make a change for the better.  I think the problems that keep coming up is because you haven't been able to cope with being cheated on by someone that you thought you loved and that loved you.  

Counseling could be a good step to take to fix yourself and repair that hole in you.  It could be the choice that will help you fix these issues before you lose everything that you love and enjoy.