All seriousness aside, I felt like I should post this from Game Informer Magazine Vol. 168, if you haven't already read it.
The unveiling of a new Zelda game is a momentous industry event, but Nintendo recently lost is chance at a big reveal when a secret internal document leaked. This detailed form not only reveals the whimsical title of the upcoming entry- it clearly describes every major weapon, item, and dungeon in the entire game.
WARNING: The following paragraph contains major spoilers!
Link will start the game with a weak, wooden sword. However, after several hours, he will obtain something known as the "Master Sword", which is significantly stronger. He will also use bombs, arrows, and a hookshot to explore a land called Hyrule and its puzzle-laden dungeons. The dungeons will incorporate environmental themes: one contains a lot of fire, another is full of ice, and there's even one out in the desert!
At this point, the only other mystery that remains is who will be the final boss: Ganon or Ganondorf. You'll just have to play the game and enjoy the surprise.
Very good stuff.
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