In the search for cures for such plagues as cancer, AIDS, and SARS, it's come to the attention of medical professionals that the spread of a serious pandemic has been swept under the rug.
This epidemic has been referred to by experts as SPRITE (Soda Pop Restriction Inside The Empties), and is affecting more and more forum members every month. This debilitating disease inhibits posting abilities and causes severe back pain.
Symptoms of SPRITE include shrinking to 1/20th of a victim's typical height, and sudden, unexpected imprisonment in everyday soft drink containers.
An early victim of the virus, known only as "thekitchensink", had this to say: "Sure, people feel sorry for us, but does anyone aver offer to HELP? I think that's the real problem here."
Concerned citizens are advised to discard their beverage containers immediately upon consumption, lest they fall victim to another attack.
To help raise awareness for this debilitating disease, join the SPRITE Awareness Committee. Membership is free, and it is not necessary to be afflicted to join.
Current member list:
thekitchensink
ThatMax
