Enoughs enough Nintendo

This is a rant. No two ways about it. And I'm sorry if most of this isn't coherent, but darnit... I'm finally pissed. So lets begin. 

Damn you Nintendo. Damn you to the lowest level of hell, insuring the it will freeze over with you cold, selfish hearts. 

Do you know what your sin is? It's sloth, you lazy bastards.


Now I could be wrong, maybe you have some reason for not appeasing the hardcore crowd like you did during the Gamecube days. Maybe you gave them great exclusive titles, new IPs, and fantastic returns to beloved franchises out of necessity because you were lagging far behind in last generation's console race. Granted these titles were spaced out almost 6 months apart each, but at least we saw one good or interesting title a year, as opposed to a new and useless controller add-on, or a Wii-fit towel to wipe off all the pretend sweat I'm not making because I have no god damn games to play! 


I'm sorry, but an overhyped (and over praised) mediocre title like Smash Bros Brawl is not enough to tide me over for two years. Because outside of Sega's generous contributions this year, I'm not going to see a solid new IP out of the company I once put my complete trust in. 


Don't get me wrong though. I understand, from a business standpoint that you're really in the green. Literally! And I applaud you for being able to tap the untappable markets of women and old people. Fan-tastic, really. 


But you don't seem to be making any efforts to help out the hardcore audience in the slightest!

What did we get last E3? Wii Sports Resort?! Oh great... I can sword fight with the new Wiimotion Plus feature! Oh man, that means that games can be more precise! That we might get a viable lightsaber game (besides that God Awful clone wars tie-in)! That the Wii has even more Potential...


Ha. Potential. 


When it comes down to it, that's all Nintendo's Wii is anymore... balled up potential that is completely WASTED. Nintendo takes center stage as Nazi Germany, sucking up all of the potential and putting it in camps to slowly whither away and die, depriving it of a taste or even a glimpse of any of their new or old franchises. 


But God dammit... all of this could be avoided if I could get some details on the new Zelda (more than a picture of an EXTREMELY effeminate Link drawn on a used napkin please), or that revival of the Kid Icarus series, or hell, even the new Mario sports title (and god am I tired of playing Mario in all of my Nintendo sports titles)!


Okay, and sure, this is just another brick in a wall that will go completely unnoticed by Nintendo, while they blissfully reassign all of their competent developers to counting the heaps of money flooding in from every casual pocket on the planet. But right now, I don't care that I'm late in this... 


In fact, you know what? Go suck a dick Reggie Fil-Aime! A Gigantic Wii shaped one without the protetction of that gelly slip-on cover you're all so fond of. And I hope that the strap snaps, crushing your teeth. 


And I know I shouldn't be putting all of my anger on you Reggie, but I can't help it. You've got too big of a goddamn mouth, trying to sell the hardcore American audience games like Wii Sports Resort and Wii Fit, so I can't possibly stop myself from saying: go suck a hard one.  


Go ahead, rip me up fanboys. 


there you go......I agree with him completely.....

I am literally DYING for ninty to announce the re-incarnation of their old franchise

Its a shame really!!




All hail the KING, Andrespetmonkey