Twilight - Why it sucks!

[MaxwellGT2000]

Twilight - Why I, as a writer and reader, hate it.

Twilight. Really, everyone? Really? Why? That is my most ardent question: WHY?

Why do people like this tripe? I wouldn’t hate it so much if it weren’t so very popular. Why is it so popular? I’ve heard so many arguments in favor of these books, and I just don’t understand why they are so loved.

 

I wouldn’t hate them half as much as if it weren’t for the fans. And it seems like there are a lot of crazy fans for these books. I cannot express how very tired I am of conversations like these:

 

Classmate: Oooh, what are you reading?
Me: A vampire novel. It’s called Sunshine. It’s by Robin McKinley. Awesome book.

Classmate: You like vampire books? Oh, have you read Twilight? It’s so awesome!

Me: I… don’t really like Twilight.

Classmate: Oh my God, why not? They’re so amazing!

 

Then, when I go on to explain the many reasons I dislike Twilight and its ilk, I get jumped on. HOW can I POSSIBLY not like Twilight? Why, they’re only the best books ever written! Stephenie Meyer is quite possibly a literary genius, MacKenzie! Why don’t you like her writing? What do you mean Edward is a creepy stalker, MacKenzie? What do you mean Bella is a completely weak character who doesn’t develop at all over the course of four whole books? What do you mean Stephenie Meyer has no idea what a real vampire is? It’s about creative interpretation, MacKenzie!

 

You know, as a writer, I find the fact that this mediocrity is so popular disgraceful. The fact that the masses eat this up like candy is sickening to me, and I will never get why drivel like the Twilight series has hit the market so very hard and lingered the way it has. Also, why the heck is it compared to Harry Potter so much? Those books are nothing alike. I also hate it when people find out that I like fantasy novels and then recommend me Twilight. That is not fantasy! That’s a sappy teen romance dressed up like a fantasy! It’s running around in fantasy clothes with a vampire label, milking money from the crowds.

 

Now, if you like Twilight, I’m not going to discriminate against you. That’s your choice. I once liked these books too, then I got a little older and the rabid, hateful (toward people who even casually dislike Twilight) fans put me off, and then I realized what it was like to literarily analyze something and I realized that these books were pure junk.

 

I find all four books sexist. I find the writing poor quality. The characters are shallow archetypes that better authors have been utilizing for hundreds of years. I find the whole Bella-becoming-a-wife-and-having-children-and-everyone-living-happily-ever-after formula, frankly, sexist and cheap. I don’t relate to a single female character in these books.

 

I don’t care what anyone says – when Jacob fell in love with a baby, that was freaking disturbing. That’s not romantic, and yes, that is pedophilic and sexist (gee, it’s not like the girl has a choice if a werewolf imprints on her, eh? She just has to get with him when she’s the right age), I don’t care what kind of love Stephenie Meyer or the fans say he has for her. It’s creepy.

 

Edward is also creepy. He stalks Bella. He climbs into her window and watches her while she sleeps. In fact, he greases her window so that it doesn’t squeak when he sneaks in. If someone actually did that to you in real life, that would be considered disturbing, and you would get a restraining order on that person.

 

Those are not vampires. They excrete venom? They sparkle in the sunlight? Traditional methods don’t kill them? They have psychic powers? They drink animal blood and they’re permanently beautiful and rock hard? Those are not vampires.

 

I’m constantly being told that I just don’t understand how great a writer Stephenie Meyer is. That’s a load of crap. She is just like every other mediocre writer, but for some reason, she hit it big. Ugh.

 

People praise her for being original and making normally monster-like creatures friendly. Uh, hello? I know she doesn’t watch a lot of movies and doesn’t read a lot of vampire lore, but that’s not original. Just because she doesn’t know that friendly-but-tortured-monsters-who-fall-in-love-with-humans has been done a million times doesn’t mean she’s original. If a man had never gone out of a house in his entire life and had therefore never seen a toaster, and he suddenly had this brilliant idea: “Hey, I’m going to invent something that crisps bread. I think I’ll call it a toaster!” We wouldn’t praise him for being original! We’d tell him it had already been invented, and we would tell that hack to go back to the drawing board and try again. (Just like the publishers should have when Stephenie Meyer sent them her first manuscript.)

 

What happened to standards, people? What happened to people praising writers who actually deserve it? I’m so tired of hearing about Twilight. If it didn’t get all this undeserving praise, I wouldn’t hate it half as much.

 

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This is my friends entry for a scholarship, if you liked it vote for it here http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/Blogs/BlogView.aspx?bid=36176&scid=395 she really needs to get in the top 200 so she can get a chance to get it.

And for me personally I despise Twilight and I love vampires and vampire tales, but Twilight is like vampires for emos...