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I translate this like this:

"My wife and I are losing weight playing WiiFit, getting in shape. I'm probably going to get fat again playing a bunch of FPS games. I'll get into a league on XBLive, pay less attention to my wife as she starts getting more in shape. In time, she'll leave, take the kids with her, who in turn will take their Xb360, and I'll have nothing. I won't be able to afford an XB360 OR a Wii because I'll be paying alimony and child support out the arse. I blame Wii Fit!"

=p