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Smeags said:

To delve further into thekitchensink's illogical yet stylish idea, we could also add two buttons on the opposite end. Sure, most will find it incredibly daunting, which is why I've decided to make it large enough for the player to know which "button" or direction on the "directional pad" (s)he's pressing.

Ta da!

You're... you're insane!

I'm going to return to my Atari 2600. D-Pad and two buttons are impossible.