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GooseGaws said:
For some reason, I assumed that my items were auto-equipped as soon as I bought them the first time out, and I was surprised that the initial enemies were so strong; I just mashed them with my fists until I was even stronger. Then I was like, "Hm... why don't I see a sword in my hand?"

Yeah. Once I bought the shield and talked to the Fortune Teller and she was still like "GET YOUR SHIT", I then found out I had to equip it. >>